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Friday, June 06, 2008

adolescence

It's funny how things that happen in middle and high school tend to stick with a person for a long time. I still remember being harrassed every day by the kid who sat in front of me in social studies in 7th grade (this was before "sexual harrassment" was a buzz word) and to this day I harbor not-so-pleasant feelings for him. He might have changed his ways since then. But he'll always be that kid who tormented the hell out of me.

And girls. Good lord, girls in middle and high school can be terrible. It's amazing how someone could be your best friend for years then one day turn on you. (and then later on going so far as to cheat with TWO of my boyfriends) Kinda messes relationships up for a while.

All of this comes up because of something my mother said to me. I was complaining that an another teacher was bugging me about an upcoming conference we have to go to and how she cornered me three times one day to talk about it. My mother says, "Sandi, quit complaining and be nice. She just likes you."

hmmm, see that's the problem. Because of the backstabbing and betrayal in middle school and high school I sometimes still have a problem letting people in. The part of me that was the adolescent thinks "But WHY does this person want to be my friend. What if they are just gathering information to use against me?"

I've always been a little, um, quirky. I have more confidence about that quirkiness now that I am older and couldn't really care less if someone likes me or not....but I guess that is from years of throwing up those walls to protect my feelings. However, the adolescent peeks through at times.

So tell me, dear readers (all one or two of you), do you have any stories from middle school or high school that you can't seem to "forgive and forget"?

Share them if you don't mind. Then let's have a big "letting go" celebration of some kind :)

2 comments:

17 (really 15) more years said...

When you talk about backstabbing and betrayal- it sounds like you're talking about my colleagues, and not about the kids.

Pissed Off said...

I felt same way in high school and junior high. I still trust very few people.