Book Contest! Prophecy of the Sisters!

My author-friend Michelle Zink is hosting an awesome giveaway on her blog. Check it out, and check out her novel Prophecy of the Sisters! (I highly recommend the book!)

Soul searching

It's been a while since I have taken to my blog and posted more than just snippets of what I am reading. I think that once people I knew in real life began reading my blog I started to censor myself and I believe I started losing my voice some. I hope I can begin writing again and gain it back. The things I write might be offensive, whiny, stupid, boring, enlightening, funny, whatever...but they need to be said bc I need to say them. I do appreciate feedback but as this is my spot in the interwebs, respectful dialogue is appreciated.

Today (after looking at the clock I realize it was yesterday) is my 35th birthday. I don't feel 35- however that is supposed to feel. But lately I have felt 15. Let me explain....

When I was about 15 my best friend decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Without explanation she just became more distant and cruel. Then it all came to a head when she started using phone conversations against me- baiting me and then telling other people what I said to make fun, etc etc etc. This incident in my life had a profound affect- I stopped trusting other females. Even now I have a hard time opening up to people for fear that I am going to get hurt, bc even at 35 it sucks. I feel that I have a lot of "friends" but a lot of times I feel it's all superficial and shallow. I know part of this is my fault bc I am unwilling to put my self out there completely but I can't seem to find the people willing to engage in deeper relationships.

I heard an analogy once -I think it was Stephen Mansfield who said that we are like a full glass of water. We pour a little of ourselves into the people who come into our lives. But if people don't pour into ours we run dry (I completely mangled the analogy, but I hope you get the meaning.)

My soul is dying. I am desperate for deeper, meaningful relationships. People who will not only will open themselves up to me but want me to open myself up. People who want to know my beliefs and will be OK when they differ from theirs- bc most likely they will.

I want to take nothing away from the people in my life now that consider me their friend. I thank you for your friendship. Little snippets here and there help me navigate through this life. But I am in need of more. I need flesh-and-bone humans willing to share their lives. I sure as hell don't want pity or to be manipulated.

How do other people do it? I really want to know.

(and if you would prefer to, feel free to email me at sandilu at hotmail dot com)

September books

I plan to start blogging more than just what I've read. I used to write a lot more but for various reasons stopped. For now though- here is my book list.

September was overwhelmingly busy so I didn't get to read nearly as many books as I had hoped.

September
Lirael ~ Garth Nix

Magic's Child~Justine Larbalestier

Wintergirls~Laurie Halse Anderson

Surviving the Applewhites~ Stephanie S. Tolan

70

August

Ash~Malinda Lo

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows audiobook ~JK Rowling

Peace, Love, & Baby Ducks~Lauren Myracle

Startled by his Furry Shorts~Louise Rennison

Love is a Many Torusered Thing~ Louise Rennison

Sabriel~Garth Nix

66 so far (slightly behind schedule!)

July

Sea Change~ Aimee Friedman

Magic Lessons~Justine Larbalestier

Goth Girl Rising~ Barry Lyga

Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince audiobook~ JK Rowling

Eclipse audiobook~ Stephenie Meyer

Silver is for Secrets ~ Laurie Faria Stolarz

Red is for Remembrance~Laurie Faria Stolarz

Devilish~Maureen Johnson

The Center of the Universe, Yep, That'd be Me ~Anita Liberty

Something to Blog About~Shana Norris

Love is Hell (collection of short stories)~ Melissa Marr, Scott Westerfield, Justine Larbalstier, Gabrielle Zevin, Laurie Faria Stolarz

South Beach ~Aimee Friedman

Re-Vamped!~Sienna Mercer

13 this month

60 total for the year

June

Dead is the New Black~Marlene Perez

The Misfits ~James Howe

The Book of One Hundred Truths~ Julie Schumacher

Then He Ate my Boy Entrancers ~Louise Rennison

Looking for Alaska~ John Green

The Hate List~Jennifer Brown

Magic or Madness~Justine Larbalestier

So you want to be a wizard~Diane Duane
New Moon audiobook~ Stephenie Meyer

so far this year- 47

May

Dancing in my Nuddy-Pants~Louise Rennison

Blue is for Nightmares~Laurie Faria Stolarz

Away Laughing on a Fast Camel~Louise Rennison

To Kill a Mockingbird~ Harper Lee

White is for Magic~Laurie Faria Stolarz

Burned~Ellen Hopkins

Fight Club_Chuck Palahniuk

The Fashion Disaster that Changed my life~Lauren Myracle

so far this year- 38

April

On the Bright Side, I'm now the Girlfriend of a Sex God~Louise Rennison

Cabinet of Wonders~ Marie Rutkoski

Giver~Lois Lowry (read with my class)

Why I Let My Hair Grow Out~Maryrose Wood

The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Thing~Carolyn Mackler

Boy Toy~Barry Lyga

13 Little Blue Envelopes~Maureen Johnson

Westing Game~Ellen Raskin (read with class)

North of Beautiful ~Justina Chen Headley

Knocked Out by my Nunga-Nunga~Louise Rennison

so far this year- 30

Goal for the year-100

March
Geektastic ~Edited by Holly Black & Cecil Castellucci
Oh My Goth ~ Gena Showalter
Hunted~PC & Kristen Cast
The Thirteen Treasures~Michelle Harrison (this one of the best written books I've read in a while)
Wit~a play by Margaret Edson
Angus, Thongs, & Full frontal Snogging~Louise Rennison (this book is HILARIOUS!)
Twilight Director's Notebook~ Catherine Hardwick

Books read so far this year- 20
Goal for the year-100

February
Kingdom Keepers:Disney at Dawn~ Ridley Pearson
The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy & Goth Girl~Barry Lyga
Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist~Rachel Cohn & David Levithan
Night World vl 1: Secret Vampire
Daughters of Darkness
Spellbinder ~LJ Smith
Zombie Queen on Newbury High ~ ~Amanda Ashby
Prophecy of the Sisters ~Michelle Zink


January
The Tales of Beedle the Bard~JK Rowling (Brilliant!)
Kingdom Keepers:Disney After Dark~Ridley Pearson (A must read for any Disney fan)
Fade to Blue~Sean Beaudoin (not released until Spring 09) (This one had me guessing until the end)
My Sister the Vampire:Switched~Sienna Mercer (Vampire books for the Middle school set. Really cute books)
My Sister the Vampire:Fangtastic~Sienna Mercer